The King of Bets
by Weskey
Summary: "People who snore always fall asleep first."


AN: I do not own the characters of Tiger & Bunny. Please don't arrest me. I wouldn't do good in jail, believe me.

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><p>If you're reading this, then don't bother.<p>

No, really. Come on, you're young. You've got plenty of other things to do. You could fly a kite, go out for dinner with that chick from the coffee shop, buy a new car, walk your dog, cut down a tree- anything. Still here? Still bothering? Ah, well, this is just stupid drabble by, well… By me!

Haha, yep, it's me again. And this time it's only 3:45- no, 3:46 AM. You know what that means? Yep. Ivan (ee-vahn? Or eye-van? Pfft, I don't know) and I are having another little squirmish; a bet, I suppose. Ha! Who does he think he is, to bet against the King of Heroes? Well, whoever he thinks he is, he claims that I, the great Sky High, cannot stay awake for a week straight. Ha! Ha ha!

… I wonder if that includes power-naps? I've also been wondering lately if, by chance, John was actually female and had a litter of puppies, who I would give them to. I think I'd give them all to my fellow heroes, of course! Doggie side-kicks. If I had a doggie side-kick, I'd name him… Cloud Hound. Wait, that doesn't rhyme…

Actually, that reminds me, I wan—

Wait, should I have started a new paragraph there or not? Huh. I'm not entirely sure… I mean, the enter key is awfully faaaa- Gross! There was a chip crumb stuck under my 'A' key. Ick.

Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Okay.

Did you hear about the camping trip?  
>…<p>

…

…

Ellipsis.

…

…It was in-tents. Buh-dum-tish. Get it? Camping trip? In-tents, intense? Admit it, you giggled a little. No? Perhaps it was a manly chuckle instead, then? Whatever the case, I'm sure you've realized by now that I'm just rambling on in a dweeble (is that even a word?) attempt to stay awake. It's 3:52 AM now, the start of my fourth day.

I personally believe that's pretty damn good. I'm already, like, you know, pretty much about, uh, 4/7ths of the way there and I am most definitely, of course, looking forward to breakfast. Wow, that was a lot of punctuation in that sentence. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if there was no such thing as punctuation but I guess then things would get really complicated because there would be no commas or periods or anything really so you couldnt imagine how the author was saying something even though really I suppose theyre writing well I mean technically _typing _maybe thats another thing I should ask ivan/ee-vahn/eye-van since hes actually pretty smart and maybe he knows the origin of punctuation even though hes rather squirrely wow im tired. Period.

But on second thought, don't you think it'd be even weirder if everything had punctuation on the end other than periods? Also, why is the entire paragraph above this one floating on a squiggly green line? (Tired?) Maybe it's grammatically incorrect? I don't know? Another question for Ivan? Man, I'm picking up quite a list here? Period!

Argh! (that is actually quite fun to say really loudly) This is so boring! Honestly, what am I even doing this bet for? These things just make me so angry, especially when I lose them… I'm usually not a sore loser, but it's really just these little things… They make me competitive! I don't want to lose about as much as crumbs want to be in my keyboard! Huh, that actually sounded a lot weirder when I said it out loud.

I'm considering spicing this up a bit. Honestly, **it's** getting **a** little **bland.** Like **mashed** potatoes. **They're** pretty **bland.** I **just** realized **I** didn't **have** dinner **tonight.** Maybe **that's** why **I'm** so **hungry.** Too **bad** John **can't** cook **for** me. **T**h**a**t **w**o**u**l**d** b**e** n**i**c**e.** I **w**o**n**d**e**r **w**h**a**t **h**a**p**p**e**n**e**d **t**o **t**h**a**t **c**h**i**p **t**h**a**t **w**a**s** s**t**u**c**k **i**n **m**y **k**e**y**b

Hello. Ivan here. If you managed to get this far, I have formed two conclusions about you: One, you have no life, and two, you have hopefully realized that the "King of Heroes" has lost this bet.

Yes, Keith now officially owes me exactly seven dollars and fifty-five cents. He is currently a faced-down drooling heap at his computer desk, slouched like a hibernating bear in his chair, so I suppose I'll have to collect my payment in the morning.

In the course of this bet, I have also managed to conclude two things about our beloved King of Heroes. One, he needs to clean his keyboard, and two, he would actually make a much better bear than man the way he snores.

And I am not _squirrelly._


End file.
